Just a bad dream

I can't sleep after waking up from a bad dream. Every had a dream where it feels so real as though it's actually happened to uou, but then you wake up and realise that it was just a dream. Life has many ways of challenging you and making your face many hurdles. Lately Iv been dreaming a lot, my mind is too active and I need to find ways to calm it. It can get tiring, the dreaming. Especially when they aren't so positive. You feel like it's just you, alone. Facing the world. I guess that constolation in the universe hasn't mapped itself out yet. I want that mark. Those faint tracing of those lines to guide me and make me feel strong.

Ready

I always imagined that there would be a time in my life where everything would line up and the universe would reveal its plan to me. What was once confusing and overwhelming, would reassemble and form something so clear and so bright, there was no way I wouldn't know what to do.

Theres a certain order of beauty, the way things move, orbits and patterns which are predetermined forever.  2 hundred billion stars in our galaxy and the billions beyond, still hold their wonder for me. But my true course, the one I track, its set in motion and I'm ready, ready for whatever comes next.

No barriers

"Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope." -Maya Angelou

Circles

I'm not longer walking in circles.

So...

Every relationship arrives at that critical moment, a junction, between moving on and moving forward. I call that moment so....

The hardest thing

Yesterday I was closing one chapter of my book. I had to say goodbye to my little ones. The little ones that I have grown to love for the past two years. Seeing their sad little faces and sorry eyes just tugged at my heart and made my emotions difficult to control. Closing the door to my classroom for the very last time made me feel alone. I know this is not the end for them or me and I know that I will learn to love the next bunch of minions. But something about this first bunch will always remain a special memory to me. They have a special place in my heart. I did it, the hardest thing. The hardest thing is to say goodbye and thats what I did.

Minions

Feeling sad but excited at the same time. Im saying goodbye to my first ever minions tomorrow. I love them so much and there will always be a special place in my heart for them. I can already sense tomorrow will be a tough day.  

Too busy feeling feelings and over thinking about it.

The best

Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.

Maya Angelou

The now.

It's fine to live in the now. As a matter of fact the good thing about the now is that there is one every day.  Going to start making every now count.

Wholeness

I thought I understood it, but I don't not really. Only the light smudge was of it. The semi precious eagerness of it. People don't realise the depth to my thoughts sometimes and I guess they  may find me strange. Sometimes I would think of the whole but I guess that wholeness is a rather luxurious Idea and in reality it's the halves that halve you in half. The precautions ways that make if. The cautious ways that will one day make that wholeness. 

Take chances

Moments of impact

My theory is that life is all about moments of impact and how they change out lives forever. The moment of impact proves a potential for change. It has ripples effects which go far beyond the ones we can predict. Sending some particles crashing together. Making them further or closer than they were before. Some spin off into far away ventures yet some land exactly where you thought you would find them. The thing about moments like these is you can't predict or control how you are going to find them. You just gta let the colliding part go where it's going to go and lift off from where you found them and then wait for the next particles to make their collision. Everyone hopes for a smooth collision. Deep down people expect their collisions to be transitionless and easy. I guess life isn't like that. You just have to make the best out of it. Smile and hope that those particles don't go too far into the realms of the unknown.

Erase

Ever had a bad dream repeatedly again and again. But you have no idea how you can erase it? Well, that's the way I feel. Replaying the same thing over in your head is not healthy. Yoga...tested. Failed on me. Long drive...the same followed me. Meditation. A load of rubbish when it's stuck in your head like a stuck cassette. I guess it's a matter of time over mind. I hope it is anyway. 4 nights without peace equals mental torture. Maybe il ask god to help me. One last time.