Whatever you do in life will be insignificant. But its important you do it because nobody else will.

Ghandi

ooh la la! some of my favourites lately :)

Its been a while

I know I haven't blogged in a while. Iv been super busy with my new life at school- working full time is not an easy task. Iv been trying to achieve a 'work life balance' those of you who are in education will say what's that? Does that even exist? The answer is no. Not really.

I have been working super hard to make sure Iv been giving 150% in everything I do at school- hence no life. Oh well it really is worth it.

On a lighter note I have been updating my playlist and am really obsessed with this song. It makes me feel all happy and floaty inside :)

Check it out..

inspirational lyrics by ella henderson

you think your missed
well let me tell you this
the love I felt for you...has flown away
and now you see
what you've done to me
so all i can ask is why
you made us feel like war
I shoulda known that you where wrong

you did it on your own now you gta go
I wont let you get me down
you try to hurt my feelings
you stopped me dreaming
but here I draw the line
I wish you luck in life and goodbye

Tuesday the 17th of July 2012

What  a special day. I finally graduated and I cannot explain in words how I feel. To stand there and receive a degree which I feel as though I have been waiting for a lifetime..was just surreal. A mixture of emotions really, leaving my friends, starting a new chapter of my life in the world of teaching and finally ending my educational journey. But yes it was worth the hard work! My brother brought me the most beautiful umbrella ever and being his thoughtful usual self dangled five pound notes from it which I though was a very unusual but quirky idea! It was certainly a day I will not forget.

"We do not remember days; we remember moments." Cesare Pavese

Istanbul. One of the most beautiful cities I have ever been.

aaand relax...

So my holiday has finally arrived and I don't mean half term either. I am going to Istanbul tomorrow. So excited..I have been THEE organised member of the family and built an itinerary so we can visit as many places as possible in 5 days. To name a few; blue mosque, Topkapi palace, Basilica Cistern (this underground water thing) and last but not least..the Grand Bazaar. Cannot wait for my dosage of vitamin D which is long overdue!!! It's supposed to be pretty hot in the 30's so that suits me. Now time to finish packing...

first few days - new chapter

Going well- feels like Im living a dream I cant believe Im being paid to do this!

Craziest feeling ever!

So here it is..the REAL DEAL. I officially start my first ever teaching job full time. Im a mix of emotions right now, from nervous to excited! Don't know how to feel really. Just hope they like me!

she shall go to the ball

Today is a really exciting day as it is my graduation ball! 4 years of my uni life over and I start school on Monday. This is unreal it feels crazy its insane. I am wearing a teal green saree with  bronze embellishment around the edge. Makeup done by urban decay because Im in love with how they do the eyes and Im going to be sporting a bronze smokey eye with a teal liner- no idea what colour lipstick I will go for I shall leave it to the artist to make that judgement. Im still undecided about how I should have my hair, not sure if to go all up or just half up and I am wearing thee most gorgeous black heals- even though know one will see them- just wearing them to make me look tall and slim!

Got the dress!

So I finally got my graduation ball outfit. I opted for a saree in the end. Its Sea blue and bronze. Only 5 days until I wear it! So scary- not long to go now.

feel better

I want to feel better. Why can't I feel better? It's because its all in the mind, it's all psychological you see. Until you remove it from the mind it wont heal. Replaying it in your memory doesn't give it chance to heal. Think of the positives, only the positives and dismiss the negatives.

pretty

So you can choose to make it a chapter or the whole story of your life...which one?

whirlwind!

So last week feels like a complete and utter whirlwind, with getting a job, my birthday and a close wedding! It still hasn't sunk in that I really am a reception teacher from September! Ahhh exciting times...still need to do my bungee jump! Had a lovely birthday last week, went out for a meal with a few of my nearest and dearest, then a family meal at night. I received lots of money- which will ALL go towards driving lessons..boo :( never the less I got  a lovely purple Carlton suitcase from my brother- it is one of those that you don't have to wheel at an angle, you just walk with it- I don't know what you call them but I know you see 1st class people walk with them at the airport, so that makes me feel a little posh! And that is it really, now I'm sat here with my last 2500 word assignment to do, which I really need to get through so then I can relax, or at least revise for my theory test. Anyway just a quick update.

Birthday cupcakes 

mmmnnmmm deeelish!

my 1st class walking suitcase

I did it! I bagged the job!

Today is a very special day.Yes thats right I did it I got my first ever teaching job :) big smiles all round.

Interview part 2 tomorrow let's hope I can come home with good news!

no more dwelling

fresh start time to move on.

growing up

9 days until Im 22. growing up fast...

Cuz were just ordinary people..what a legend!

obsessing over this track at the moment even though the video is a little eccentric.

Can a leopard change its spots?

ocean

Love is like the ocean. Vast, seemingly endless. Rocky, at times. Peaceful, at others. Daunting for all its unexplored depths. But a constant source of wonder and amazement.

no idea what mood im in...just hittin up some tunes.

Officially worlds worst driver

Took my first ever driving lesson today and it was a complete disaster. I couldn't help but feel so nervous and scared about moving the car. I seem to have this fear planted inside me as if I'm going to crash. I don't know how to get rid of the feeling and be confident. Its a problem and a struggle I need to push through. I need to overcome this, just don't know how :(

Wish come true.

It is the oldest story in the world, one day your seventeen and planning for someday and then quietly and without you even noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday and this is your life. If you had a friend you'd never see again...what would you say? And you could do one last thing for someone you love, what would it be? Say it...do it. Dont wait. Nothing lasts forever. It doesnt matter how you plan it, it doesnt matter how you envision it, without even knowing it, sometimes life has a way of finding it exactly what you need or exactly who you need. Its funny how the past frames us. How the person we used to be never lets loose of the person we are. Past failures and dissapointments...even victories take hold of us. They haunt us like ghosts or visit us like old friends. Human beings are ambitious, we spend so much time wanting, persuing, wishing. For the most part thats okay ambition is good. Chasing things with integrity is good, dreaming. As long as the chase doesnt diminish what we already have. The goodness we take for granted, the people and the lives we take for granted. Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want. Everything you want. DO you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know where the next miracles going to come from. The next memory, the next smile, the next wish come true.But if you believe that its right around the corner and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it, you just might get the thing you wished for. The world is full of magic you just have to believe in it. So make your wish, do you have it? Good. Now believe in it. With all your heart.

In the words of Mother Teresa.

People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway. 

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

intense.

Happy April Fools Day!

jobs jobs jobs...

Had my first ever teaching interview yesterday. And I came runner up! So although I was disappointed I feel pretty proud of my self for even getting to that stage. Just going to treat it as a learning experience and move on. I have two teaching interviews after Easter. Hopefully I will secure something soon.

torn

torn up inside feeling like I will never be able to love again

Lie, steal or cheat

Never lie, steal or cheat.
But if you must lie- lie in the arms of the one you love.

If you must steal..steal away from bad company.
If you must cheat..cheat death.
The hitch

This is it!

So this is it! I finally did it..I am a teacher! Passed my practice and passed my uni. Exciting times! Now for the job hunt...

Impact

Life is all about moments of impact...and how they change our lives forever.My theory is that these moments of impact... that these flashes of reality that turn us upside down... change us.

The vow

I can see a rainbow

I know I havent been posting so regularly lately...been a little pre-occupied with teaching, which I by the way LOVE so much and dont wanna leave.When I have had the time to myself Iv been trying to spend it with my brother because I hardly see him these days. So we decided to go and see the rainbow that they have set up to mark the guild at the marina. It was lovely and mild so made the perfect night for a stroll. Unfortunately because I am known to be the worst photographer and my hand shakes a lot this is the best I could get!

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

A light hearted pick me up. Most certainly a must see!

lovely

soaring

A person who thrives in spite of insurmountable difficulties is soaring to the heights of fortitude and acquiring the wings of wisdom. His flight is marked with grace and humility." - Dodinsky"

Please dont think Im Emo. I just find her songs so relatable and her voice is just divine!

I won't let you close enough to hurt me.

New strategy for sleep deprivation

Stay awake as long as you can on the sofa downstairs until you feel like you could almost hit the pillow. It helps because you don't end up thinking about things too much.

Its like your screaming and no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed that someone can be that important that without them you feel like nothing, no one will ever understand how much it hurts, you feel hopeless, like nothing can save you then when its over and its gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back so that you could have the good. Rihanna (2011)

half term, half time

Its half term and im half way through my final teaching practise. I should feel relaxed at this moment..but relaxed is far from how I feel as I have applications after applications to wade my way through. But I suppose it is a good sign as I have hope for the future.

Going to take some me time tomorrow and start shopping for my graduation outfits. I need a graduation ball outfit and a nice pair of shoes! Thinking about graduation really makes me feel sooo liberated its the best feeling ever.

 Oh yes and Happy valentines day for those of you who are cooped up in your love bubble!

Anyway this is totally off topic but I am so happy Adele won 6 grammy's its just pure amazingnesss!!!!! She is a class act and stands for all of us women! Here is her mind blowing grammy performance. Enjoy.

complete

No idea..what to feel..how im suppose to feel or where Im going with my life. I need to feel complete again.

regret

Regret comes in all shapes and sizes. Like when we do a bad thing for a good reason. But some are bigger, like when we let down a friend. Some of us escape the pains of regret by making the right choice, some of us have little time for regret because were looking forward to the future. Sometimes we have to fight to come to terms with the past and sometimes we bury our regret, the promise into changing our ways, but our biggest regrets are not for the things we did but the things we didn't do. The things we didn't say that could have saved someone you care about.

hard work...dedication...feels like im hamster on one of those running wheels...never ending! Hope all this is worth it.

jeez this woman gives me goosebumps every single time.

chin up.

Okay so I know I may have been neglecting my me time in terms of blogging on here lately. I actually don't get a minute for 'me time' anymore. Life is getting pretty stressful and I seem to be experiencing the same anxiety as most of my fellow teaching students. Am I cut out for this job? Can I cope with the pressure? Am I capable of being a teacher? I dont know why but I seem to be doubting myself. I think the reality of the job has hit me this year. But hopefully when I see the results and the little puddings do well it will all be worth it. Am I really going to be a professional qualified teacher in a few months? Although Im excited and can almost taste what I am letting myself in for...I still feel like something is missing. Its not just my career thats going to make me happy. Im sure you've experienced the same kinda feeling. Its something else. I just hope that in a few months Il begin to feel better because its been too long now. But Im just going to soldier through and keep my chin up, because thats what most say Im good at.

messing around with my brothers vintage camera.

me myself and I

the greatest gift ever.

okay so maybe this working 7 days a week thing is not going as well as I hoped. Oh well I guess I gotta be a trooper and get through it. Shame it results in early bedtimes though..why am I so nocturnal? On the upside I have my little puddings to put a smile on my face tomorrow.

Back to school!

Back to school tomorrow full time until easter..then I will be a fully fledged teacher! I feel like I need to bungee jump!

worth

If he makes you sad more than he makes you happy..then he is not friggin worth it. Advice from a wise friend!

happy ending?

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope. 


Gigi- hes just not that into you.

man fort

So youve always had a good defence system..a man fort.

Then this person comes along and you get this weakness and this feeling in your heart and all of a sudden your guard drops when you least expect it, right at the moment where you think you've got yourself together. But no- this one person comes in and ruins your defence system that you've built. For a while it feels okay to let your guard down and let someone into your life, its okay to let someone be part of it, you cant describe the feeling and the connection that you have with that person to anyone because no one will understand.

All of a sudden they hurt you, and you think that its okay it was a mistake- you can forgive. But that would be too simple right? You get hurt over and over and over again, until you become immune to the feeling.

Its at this point that you realise that he's destroyed your man fort.

It needs rebuilding. Keep your guard up. Build the man fort. No more hurt. Just me myself and I.

Real world

I applied for my first ever teaching post today and even though its not exactly where I want it as Iv always had my heart set on teaching in London (but I know thats never going to happen know- if any of you are wondering...one word- parents!) I still aim to do my best and make the best of what Ive got. So its scary times really..will I be even shortlisted for an interview? Am I good enough? This feeling scares me. What if I dont have a job by September? I know its not the end of the world ...thats what your thinking. But I have worked too hard for four years to not have a class of my own, its all iv ever wanted by very own group of little puddings. It finally feels like Im entering the real world and Im ready to face it! Cannot wait!

Real eyes
Realize
Real lies

Which one?

broken trust..hard to fix.

Im back!

Im back and I spent the first five days of my new year with my best friend- and I wouldnt have had it any other way.

We've spent the past few days braving the wind and rain, walking backwards in the wind and rain, consuming the most calorific food- including doughnuts, hot chocolates, pancakes, and my most favourite latest craze ever- bagels with smoked salmon and cream cheese! Making chicken noises in the street, slipping in the street, battling with my umbrella, getting lost in manchester, having giggle fits in the early hours of the morning and making every moment a kodak moment! So yes the past few days have been pretty fun and have opened my eyes leaving me on a positive note for the new year.