Shattered

Shattered..this work is sucking my life and endless possibilities from me. Roll on January the 6th 2012.

possibilities

Soo having an interview offer for job in a school abroad...it happened....yes its always been my lifelong dream! BUT here comes the reality check! Its nice to know that people think Im employable and that I have had such a good response from my job applications because hopefully some day in the future I will be able to accept. But for know I think I owe it to myself to get my NQT year complete and stick it out a couple years here to give Britain my service. After all I was educated here. So that's the plan. Although I have an interview for a local teaching pool in march. So things are looking optimistic and hopefully Il get a few more interviews rolling in! EEeeek the excitement of the endless possibilities. Hopefully Il be preparing for christmas nativities with the little mokeys this time next year!

If I could choose..it would be to see this lady.

Cannot believe its Saturday again one week definitely flies round wayyyy to quick. Its scary that my lovely project has to be in in 5/6 weeks... okay enough of the talking and more of the doing i think. Im just so worried I have so many things whizzing around in my tiny little brain at the moment, including applying for jobs, going to uni, doing this project and preparing to teach my class in January. The thought of all this is making me sick. So I have already promised myself a productive day today, after I finish tutoring at three I shall redraft my lit review and methodology chapter. And if Im feeling brave Il start analysing my results. So there are my personal targets for today..i sound silly saying them on here but I feel as though it helps because its written down and Il feel guilty if I dont do it. Its all about mind trickery here! And not to mention Il be finishing my evening off with a little bit of my guilty pleasure yes its the x factor! Im thinking that I should get my christmas presents made too and cards. Sooo yes..thats my busy dysfunctional life! Hope you have a good day whatever you decide to do..im sure its more exciting than mine. But oh well- its all to pay off eventually. Oh and Iv been saving ultrahard for my macbook pro! Super exciting!

hair

Okay so iv been looking into this for a while now..since my hairs grown really really long and im finding it slightly un manageable I figured it would be a good idea to get some layers..or get it shaped. But then I do like my classic one length cut. Iv seen a few cuts that I like, I might grow it so its super long then the scissor happy hairdressers wont cut it all off when I go to have it done. Here is the kind of cut Im thinking...

I think the style that Im looking for is the 'graduated layered' look, I want a feminine soft layered cut if you know what I mean! We all know how difficult it is to give a hair dresser a vision you have and then they go and do their own thing. Which is why I rarely go for anything apart from a trim. But im fed up..its time to take a little risk. If you have any good hairdresser suggestions..let me know. Im willing to pay a little extra to get it right- we all know how precious a girls hair can be!

up up up!

Had an up day today..so first of all I managed to get an interview for this teaching pool I applied for and second of all I got my placement for school and its a church school which I love! I feel like things are slowly looking up for me..just gotta keep working hard get this silly poster assessment outta my life and this horrid 10,000 word dissertation. I'm so excited about what the future may hold. Cannot wait- its so strange to think that this time next year I could have my own class! Hopefully 6 years of perseverance will finally all be worth it.

jar of hearts

nobody understands

In the words of Adele

Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.

Magic

We all start out knowing magic. We are born with whirlwinds, forest fires, and comets inside us. We are born able to sing to birds and read the clouds and see our destiny in grains of sand. But then we get the magic educated right out of our souls. We get it churched out, spanked out, washed out, and combed out. We get put on the straight and narrow and told to be responsible. Told to act our age. Told to grow up, for God’s sake. And you know why we were told that? Because the people doing the telling were afraid of our wildness and youth, and because the magic we knew made them ashamed and sad of what they’d allowed to wither in themselves.

After you go so far away from it, though, you can’t really get it back. You can have seconds of it. Just seconds of knowing and remembering. When people get weepy at movies, it’s because in that dark theater the golden pool of magic is touched, just briefly. Then they come out into the hard sun of logic and reason again and it dries up, and they’re left feeling a little heartsad and not knowing why. When a song stirs a memory, when motes of dust turning in a shaft of light takes your attention from the world, when you listen to a train passing on a track at night in the distance and wonder where it might be going, you step beyond who you are and where you are. For the briefest of instants, you have stepped into the magic realm.

Robert McCammon’s Boy’s Life

Tribal

let go and be happy

megahyper even though im ill...no idea how or where I get these sudden bursts of energy that make me want to jump about and dance to rihanna all day in my bedroom.

plans plans plans

Busy day ahead today with the kiddies teaching lovely maths! I seem to have woken up with sharp daggers in my throat and its really sore, will just have to try teach without talking to much. But we are talking about the queen of talking here- so yes we'll see how that goes! After they've gone I intend to do some more application forms for some local teaching pools. I really cannot wait to get a job next September! Eeeek the possibility that I will have my very own class sends shivers down my spine. I will probably end my evening with some x-factor- yes I know your thinking- NOT X FACTOR I know its full of theatrics and isn't really about the talent, but I gta give it to you I just LOVE the drama. I watch it and yes complain because they always boot the good ones off- but it can be very entertaining. You should try it if you havent already! Seriously its a guilty pleasure of mine!

Bitten fig

Wanted to show you my jewellery today. At the moment Im having lots of fun jazzing up my outfits to make them boho. I am also obsessed with this burgundy maroony colour and to tie it altogether I bought revlon's new felt tip lip pen in bitten fig. I hope your having fun with fall trends just as much  as I am!

galaxy chocolate voice...LOVE this girl!

crossroads

There are moments in our lives where we find ourselves at crossroads. Where we have to make choices that will define us for the rest of our days. These choices are the ones that can make things better or not. But the choices we make can only be the best to us for that moment.

Some of us escape the pain of regret by making looking forward to our future. Some of us have little time for regret because we're busy with our plans..busy defining ourselves- building us. Sometimes we have to fight to come to terms with the past, and sometimes we bury our regret by promising to change our own ways. Build it, change it and look forward. Don't look back. 

Blouse of the day

this hair is a little quirky

i have respect for this lady

sweet popcorn, hulahooping, warm woolies, ed sheeran, cosy pj's, 10,000 word dissertation, school, work, work work, making christmas gifts, job applications, maths tutoring on saturdays, charity work...woah my lifes a little busy right now.

lovely meal

Had a lovely evening with a few peeps from my workplace. Went for the best indian ever at one of my favourite places- east is east (I know very original name!) But despite the name the food was Deeeeelicious. I feel as though Iv eaten for days now, oh well. I am definitely hoping to start my hula hooping toning sessions again. Its not about wanting to be thin its just about feeling good about my curves and toning up that I want. Me and my friend were just saying today that we should count ourselves lucky that we have hourglass figures as so many girls would die for it (even though we think they are probably crazy) oh well- its just one of those things- you can never be satisfied with what you have. Its learning to love yourself as stupid as that sounds! Anyway I better get some sleep seen as I have a busy week ahead with some lovely insightful 5 year old beings.

vintage vibes

This is a cuff of the day (or jumper of the day really)  from a while back I had forgotten to upload. The jumper is from one of my fav vintage places- retro rehab- oldham st. manchester. Its very oversized but with some nice skinnies it looks lovely/ Hope you like :)

Must be the saddest thing to be sat in my red tartan pj's, on my laptop tumbling and eating love hearts to make myself feel better. Its one of those days where i just feel like scruffing my hair up in a bun, wearing my cupcake socks and being miserable. Were allowed those days. On the up-side Im having microwave popcorn tonight- and its sweet!

eleventh of the eleventh two thousand and eleven

Im just fascinated- that is all!

blurry vision?

Just finished syncing my playlist to my phone for the long journey tomorrow as I have to get up very early tomorrow, getting the train into uni for a morning meeting with a career advisor. Plus my playlist is extremely old and is lacking new vibes. I need new in my life right now to keep me motivated! I want to polish up my CV and personal statement so I can conquer the world with my passion for teaching. Okay well maybe not the world but the UK for now.

Wouldn't mind one of these right now!

Holding on

Ok so Ive been told that the best way to get things off your chest and feel better is to write a letter to the douchebag in question! Before today I felt as though I was  a prisoner to myself. I was caged in my own emotions and it was definately not a healthy way of living. Another thing you should never do is apologise for your feelings. Now Ive written all my thoughts down Im supposed to feel like a whole load of weight has been lifted off my shoulders right? Hmm. Maybe that part takes sometime. As long as you feel youve done your best and made the effort then I guess you cant say you never tried. Although right now I feel as though Im clutching on to a grain of rice. Someone once told me that if not  a day goes by without you thinking of that one person then its worth holding onto. Then some may say to forget it. Erase the person out of your memory. Theyre not worth holding on to. Thats the way to heal. Send them a huge letter and dont ever look back. There are arguments for both sides.What if holding on hurts you? But youre scared that by letting go it will hurt you more? Honestly it seems stupid to hold onto something keeps hurting you but it seems even more stupid to let go of everything youve ever wanted.
This is what sucks about life- there is never a clear answer.

Floral chic

So as I mentioned previously Im in school alot these days, just got back and thought Id show you my teacher like ensemble. I love how versatile these checked trousers are I can wear them with almost everything, they take my outfit to a whole nother chic level. The floral scarf draws the outfit together keeping me warm when im outside with the little ones. As always my outfit is completely high street, head to toe and affordable. It shows how one accessory can make any outfit. Anyway I hope you like it!

Blouse- new look 

Scarf- primark

trousers- river island

Advice

Its easy to give a friend advice. But when its you in that situation its difficult to take your own. Im sure youve all been there done that, we've all told our best friends to forget about him and you tell her she can do better and that her whole world will get better with time because 'times a healer' supposedly. But as soon as its you in that position, no one can change how you feel about that person. No one will know the special connection you had and how happy you used to feel. And you just cant feel differently or take on the advice.

My awful gift giving.

So as usual the eid ritual for me and my brother is buying each other surprise gifts! And my gifts where definitely more than a surprise. I opted for the safe 'I love you and Id like you to keep warm' kinda option. A nice warm cosy jumper. So to cut to the chase he bought me some speakers for my phone seen as hes sick of me playing my music from solely my phone- he hates the crappy songs I play first of all then he hates the crappy quality that comes out of it. So its a loose loose situation for him. Now at first when I saw these speakers...i didnt have the instant chemistry with them. I know that sounds deluded and your probably thinking they are only speakers right? But no these speakers are BLACK AND YELLOW- which brings this thing to a whole nother level. If any of you know my love for Wiz Khalifa youll know what I mean! I also forgot to mention I got some lovely grandad slippers and a gorgeous calvin klein hat and scarf set. So some of you may be reading this and be thinking- she needs to up her game in gift giving, but do any of you know how hard it is to buy for guys? Or maybe thats just my excuse!

I know its cheesy but seen as its bonfire night...its because baby your a fiiiireeework!

Ryan Gosling..need I say more?

This scene made me chuckle!

I need a place like this where I can escape to.

Define yourself

History is largely told as a chronicle of great people doing great things, but for most of us life is not made up of big moments, its made up of small moments. And with every choice and decision we are defining ourselves. Are we proud of ourselves or are we disappointed in who we've become? Life rarely turns out the way we’ve planned, the unexpected happens and surprises us with exciting new possibilities. Take the possibility and handle yourself with courage, ready to face each possibility or surprise. Life throws turns at us which hit us hard in the face. Either way handle yourself with dignity and grace. 

Thank you

My dear friend made me think about something today. I was feeling a little low with all the uni work and other usual stresses of life. She said that it all starts with gratitude. If you are grateful with what you have and you thank the lord then it will keep your mood up..in a good way. So this is it. This is my pinky promise to her.

And then it occurred to me that we only pray when we want things for ourselves and we never just pray to thank the lord. So this is it. Sometimes you have to think of yourself and the things you already have in life and truly dig deep in to your heart and ask yourself why you're not happy and think there must be so many more worse things happening out there.

Be grateful. Be positive. Thank God for everything you do have. If you thank God and look at the positives then your outlook in life is bound to be positive.

Blouse of the day

So as some of you may know Im working in schools lots and lots at the moment and I dont really have time to wear my casual clothes....BUT! One thing I get to do is dress up like a teacher which I love. I love how woman can power dress to assert their authority and thats something I definately aim to do. Youll be seeing more teacher outfits on my pages. Hope you like them!

Autominal colour blocking

My new aviator jacket

I treated myself to a brand new aviator, sheepskin type leather jacket today. Because its lined with sheepskin it will certainly keep me warm. Plus its stylish which always a bonus. If any of you are wondering its from the latest hnm collection. If you follow my recent blog posts you will notice my love for the store- they always get things bang on trend and they are really reasonable in price. I love how you can mix their clothes up with accessories and make them look super luxurious and expensive. It just goes to show you dont have to spend alot to look good. Anyway enjoy!

Feathers